On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize