she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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