Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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