id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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