Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
