How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
