Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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