Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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