you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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