i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
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random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
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Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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