I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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