I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
