i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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