I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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