I think my fart just growled at me.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
