she woke up with a sticky ear
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked