Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem