Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club

(810): View more from Michigan

I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds

(810): View more from Michigan

Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!

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(313): lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club (810): I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds (810): Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies! http://tfl.nu/l421

Replies (5) Good night (1385) Bad night (570)
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(773): View more from Illinois

My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

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(773): My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas. http://tfl.nu/zv1j

Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (869)
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(607): View more from New York

i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th

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(607): i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th http://tfl.nu/g8vn

Replies (13) Good night (4198) Bad night (735)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.

(571): View more from Virginia

define virginity.

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(651): Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying. (571): define virginity. http://tfl.nu/5by8

Replies (17) Good night (5709) Bad night (1501)
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(217): View more from Illinois

you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...

(1-217): View more from Illinois

please don't ever take me to a strip club again...

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(217): you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals... (1-217): please don't ever take me to a strip club again... http://tfl.nu/2ds8

Replies (29) Good night (5917) Bad night (1615)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

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(201): I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american http://tfl.nu/02ni

Replies (194) Good night (3006) Bad night (15573)
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(210): View more from Texas

The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas

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(210): The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas http://tfl.nu/zrzb

Replies (8) Good night (1390) Bad night (639)
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(909): View more from California

If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis

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(909): If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis http://tfl.nu/ldcq

Replies (2) Good night (1645) Bad night (512)
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(251): View more from Alabama

Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.

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(251): Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night. http://tfl.nu/kxkv

Replies (5) Good night (477) Bad night (1312)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !

(779): View more from Illinois

You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.

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(815): Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him ! (779): You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right. http://tfl.nu/e8wh

Replies (7) Good night (993) Bad night (685)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level

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(603): i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level http://tfl.nu/sciw

Replies (4) Good night (368) Bad night (1067)
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(519): View more from Ontario

please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen

(1-519): View more from Ontario

i can't, we're worse now

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(519): please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen (1-519): i can't, we're worse now http://tfl.nu/v8g3

Replies (12) Good night (1286) Bad night (541)
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(415): View more from California

I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"

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(415): I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!" http://tfl.nu/tw69

Replies (1) Good night (895) Bad night (265)
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(817): View more from Texas

Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.

(817): View more from Texas

Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".

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(817): Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender. (817): Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii". http://tfl.nu/6w6n

Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (207)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.

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(717): Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about. http://tfl.nu/g2cn

Replies (5) Good night (300) Bad night (214)

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