Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants

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  (816): I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants http://tfl.nu/4wl5
  Replies (40) Good night (4577) Bad night (551)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.

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  (618): Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this. http://tfl.nu/flrg
  Replies (7) Good night (1466) Bad night (3259)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.

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  (617): Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/0aty
  Replies (10) Good night (926) Bad night (2117)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.

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  (585): I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over. http://tfl.nu/fjvq
  Replies (3) Good night (2335) Bad night (1779)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay

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  (919): Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay http://tfl.nu/w5k9
  Replies (18) Good night (2006) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.

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  (707): She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place. http://tfl.nu/aqji
  Replies (9) Good night (5534) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (3042) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS

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  (203): WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS http://tfl.nu/964x
  Replies (9) Good night (1624) Bad night (558)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea

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  (317): For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea http://tfl.nu/lnc6
  Replies (8) Good night (525) Bad night (1674)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.

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  (204): I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL. http://tfl.nu/e718
  Replies (7) Good night (1950) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.

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  (206): when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other. http://tfl.nu/no1k
  Replies (9) Good night (1743) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.

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  (321): I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever. http://tfl.nu/o4s7
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  May the force be with you.

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  (847): bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died. (309): May the force be with you. http://tfl.nu/776r
  Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed

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  (484): Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed http://tfl.nu/tho4
  Replies (7) Good night (810) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  You've ruined popcorn for me.

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  (240): This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave. (1-240): You've ruined popcorn for me. http://tfl.nu/2sk4
  Replies (7) Good night (802) Bad night (550)

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