If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
