I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
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he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize