So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
