But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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