Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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