literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You made out with two different species that night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
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As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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