Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Randomize
