Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize