so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
