We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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