It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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