am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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