I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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