I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
