just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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