ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
