Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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