why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
