It's just like the Real World with babies
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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