two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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