And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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