Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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