So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
