You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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