do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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