haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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