Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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