he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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