We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
