u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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