True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
