Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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