Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
