my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize