I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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