the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
