oh god the rape fog is back!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
