my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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