We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
