...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
