Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i now understand why vodka
Randomize