Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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