is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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