Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
