Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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