kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
